Thursday, July 23, 2009

My Love/Hate Relationship with Running

I started running again in January of this year. I have ran in the past, but I've never been one for long distances..2-3 miles is what I would usually do. However, this year I decided I would not only do a 10K in May, but run the Top of Utah half marathon the end of August. That's a good 13.1 mile run, folks, a lot more than this body of mine has ever done! It's definitely been a huge blessing/huge challenge to run in my life the past while. It's hard finding the time to do it when you're in a fun place, trying to live up every minute you are there. But I've been running at least 3 days a week since January. I've come along way-to be able to run more than 3 miles without stopping is more than I've ever been able to do, up to being able to run 7.5 miles last Saturday. But I've had a lot of set backs along the way. My time hasn't really improved the way I have wanted to, and this has frustrated me greatly. I've also been frustrated by those around me who started training after I did and are now running at a faster mile pace than I am. I allowed this to get to me mentally. I would get so mad at myself, that it affected how I ran. But last Saturday, when I was on my big run, I finally came to the conclusion that it truly does not matter how fast I am running my miles. I'm running them! And I'm going at a pace where I feel that I'm pushing myself, and it doesn't matter if someone else's time is faster than mine. Once I allowed myself to truly feel that way, I was so good mentally on my run, and after! It gave me a new hope that I can do this. My focus is not on the time. My focus is pushing myself, and myself alone, to do what I have never done physically before. I'm amazed at how much I have accomplished in my running in the past 6 months. It has changed my life for the better. Running is my alone time, and I've been able to do a lot of thinking and reflecting on my time alone, pounding the pavement. What a blessing it has become, and I look forward to a lot more running in the future!

4 comments:

Salmon Tolman Family said...

I'm proud and jealous of you! You look great and you're staying in shape and you've accomplished a lot with your running! Don't get down! Keep UP the great work!

Jen said...

My sentiments exactly. I love MY time. Lately it has given me focused time on issues I've been working through- which is hard, but necessary. Running is a great release. I'm not fast either Tawna- when I run outside, I only average 11-12 minute miles- and that is okay! I'll be right along side with you. When we get to the end of 13.1 then we can sit and have a good crylaugh together. I'm certain that is how I will be feeling. It's amazing. Can't wait to run with you. WE CAN DO IT!

The Oylers said...

You are right, it's frusterating. But when you are running all you have to do is look around you and see how many other people are running. It's probably not a lot. So, when you are finished with your 8 miles you have already beat all of the people who are in their homes sitting on the couch....and that is a lot of people.

Kim said...

You rock girly! Keep up the good work. Running is an amazing outlet. I can't wait to see you that day of the race.