Bittersweet

Today has been an emotional day for me.  Not emotional in the sense of tears, but it's hard for me to explain how I have felt.  It was the last day of the school year with an amazing group of kids that I will miss dearly!  When you spend so much time with little people, working so hard together to achieve goals and seeing them accomplish those goals, you come to love them in a way that is so different from other people in your life.  And then after spending 180 school days together, for 6 plus hours each day, you have to say goodbye to those special little friends who bring you so much joy in seeing their growth?  It pulls my heart out a little bit.  I spend more time with my first graders than anyone else in my life and it's like they become my 21 little best friends for the year.  I'm excited for the summer, I'm excited for them to go on and learn more with new teachers but it's always hard for me to change things.

This year seems more different in terms of being more emotional for me than usual, and after talking to a very good friend about it, it's probably a reflection of where I'm at in my life right now in terms of not having many friends left in Logan that I spend time with consistently.  Many people in my life have moved on.  Don't get me wrong, I love that they have and I love seeing my friends get married, having children, etc. etc. But at times I feel that I'm still at the same place I was, and I have really thrown myself into my job.  So having my little first graders move on too? Oh man!  My emotions are all over the place.  Is this even making sense?!

Anyway, here's to having a wonderful year, here's to having an awesome summer of learning and growth for myself, and hope for my new group of first graders in the fall!!

Who Does That?!

I am blogging tonight to confess something...I get emotionally attached to television characters and I am currently in the grieving process after watching my all time favorite TV show, Grey's Anatomy.  Tonight was a very difficult and emotional episode, and I am going to say it.   I feel like it changed me!  Typing this, I feel a little obsessed and on the crazy side!  Do I invest so much of my time watching these shows only to get hurt?  Does this compare to real life and my relationships...do I get emotionally attached to people as well, or just made up people?!  Something to think about.  I have now gone through the denial stage, I went through a stint of anger, and now I'm just experiencing sadness, all within the last few hours.  I'll let you know when I have reached acceptance!

And So Are The Days of My LIfe...

Oh.My.Word.  I don't think I have felt this exhausted since....I don't know!  Today I really felt the effects of 21 first graders ready for summer.  It took every ounce of my energy to keep them learning, focused, and able to finish their work.  If the next 17 days are going to be as tiring as they were today, I might drop dead of exhaustion by May 31.  How do you mothers do it nonstop?!  Kudos to you!  I absolutely love my job, but not on days like today!

Immediately after school, I had to hurry back over to Logan to start my new summer class.  It's a research class, one that I have been dreading because the word research makes me want to go into hibernation mode and not come out of my cave.  But I need the learning and I'm grateful that I am able to continue to go to school and become better in all areas of my life. (And it helps me to keep going by reminding myself I will be done in December!)

The best thing happened this past weekend that made me so happy.  My brother Mick and his wife Jen had their fourth baby girl!  Since they had 3 girls already, they decided to keep this one a surprise.  I had a dream last week it was going to be a boy, but I dreamed wrong!  She is beautiful and the second I saw her I fell in love.  I'm a proud aunt for the 11th time, and I love every single one of them!   Yay for life!

Seriously?

Hold up..this new blog set up is super confusing!  It might make me want to post even less than I already do.  Who has time to learn a new format?  I HATE change..every time Facebook changes their set up, I have a minor meltdown because it's a sign of change.  What does that say about bigger changes in my life?  Aahh!

Update:  I'm set to graduate from USU in December with my Masters!  I just finished spring semester, and start summer semester next Monday so I get a few days off with no homework!  I have four classes left-2 in the summer, 2 in the fall.  Can I make it?  I hope so!

Only 20 days of teaching left for this school year.  I can't believe how fast this year has gone.  I have really really loved this group of first graders, and I am so proud for how hard they have worked.  I get sad thinking of moving them on to second grade, but I think they are ready!

I weighed in today, and have now lost a total of 24.6 pounds...so close to my next goal of 25 pounds gone!  Yay!  I can't believe how much I have lost.  I don't really see it a lot in myself because I still have a ways to go but it's such a great start and I love that I'm keeping with it.

Speaking of goals..I'm slowly working on my thirty while thirty goals.  I've been flossing more often (I went to the dentist last week and the hygienist commented on it!), I'm almost done with all 8 seasons of 24, I've been writing on my blog more often, etc. etc.

My life is pretty boring but I am happy and busy and loving life at the current moment!