My Rock

My Grandma Perkins has always been a very important person in my life. Since the time I was a little girl, she has always been a woman that I have loved, admired, and adored. She passed away this morning, and since I found out, my thoughts have led back to my favorite memories with her, and what she has taught me:

-My grandparents lived in Cour D'Alane, ID but had a winter home in Arizona. Every Fall, they would drive South, stopping to say with us for a few days on their way to Arizona, and again in the Spring, on the way back to Cour D'Alane. They would always come on weekends because I remember my grandparents going to church with us, and I ALWAYS wanted to sit next to my grandma. She would scratch my back all during sacrament and it was pure heaven for me!

-My favorite place in the whole world was my grandparent's house in Cour D'Alane. They lived on the lake and every glorious summer for a few days we would drive up and spend time with them. It was the most beautiful, peaceful place on Earth, and I anticipated that trip all year! Every morning my grandma would make orange juice mixed in the blender with a banana-something I like to do now. We would go on our annual shopping trip with Grandma. And I tell you what, my grandma didn't mess around when it came to shopping! She knew all the best places to go, gave honest opinions about how we looked in our clothing, and I cherish those times I spent with her :) Playing games and putting puzzles together at the lake house was another favorite activity of us grand kids.

-It was a sad day for all of us when my grandparents sold their home in Cour D'Alane and moved to Spokane, WA. Tabbi and I were able to drive up, just the two of us, to spend some time with them a few years ago in their new home. That is a trip I will treasure for the rest of my life. We were able to just sit and talk with them for hours. My grandma had the sharpest memory of any person I know, and she was over 90 years old!! She had a keen eye for details, and was a wonderful storyteller. I loved hearing her talk about her past, growing up with her large family, about my parents, giving us wonderful advice, and just spending that time with her. She and my grandpa worked in the temple once a week, and it was their tradition after to eat a Burger King hamburger and share a small fry. Isn't that so cute?! It was fun to share in that tradition with them for a day.

-My grandma was honest, firm, blunt, hilarious, and the most loving person alive. She knew who she was, she loved herself, and she wasn't afraid to be herself. All those qualities wrapped in one made my grandma so beautiful, so wonderful to be around. She always knew how to make everyone feel so welcome and people wanted to be around her to hear her stories, and share in her glorious laughter. She could always make me laugh, she could always make me cry. She told me how it was, and I needed that! That's a quality I always admired in her, one that several people in my family possess. It makes for good times when we are all together, I tell you what!

-When my grandma said "I love you" I knew she meant it. She said it with so much conviction, so much emotion. I believed it, I felt it, and I loved hearing her say those 3 words. That is something I learned from her-love others unconditionally, tell them often, and mean it when you say it.

-My grandma was my biggest fan-she supported me whole heartedly in everything I chose to do-my singing and piano lessons, going to college, graduating, teaching, receiving my temple endowments, moving to Colorado. All of it. She backed me up, and would tell me how proud of me she was. I remember a short while after my Aunt Candi died (her daughter), I called my grandma to just talk (I loved doing that). She told me that my Aunt Candi would tell her often, "Quin is so beautiful." And then my grandma said, with emotion that made me cry, "Quin, you are beautiful. And I love you, I love you!" -Side note, my grandma refused to call me Tawna. I was Quin to her, I will always be her Quin.

-A few years ago, some of us in our family went to visit my grandparents in July for their birthday. On this particular trip, Kala and I were able to go shopping alone with grandma. At that time, I had been thinking about getting Chaco shoes. I really wanted them, but was hesitant on the price. We passed a store that sold them in the mall, and I told my grandma that I desired them. My Grandma said, "Quin, let's just go try them on and see what you think." So I did. She loved them on me, and basically forced me to buy them. She knew how much I wanted them! Another lesson learned from my grandma-when you truly desire something, go for it. Get it.

-I remember after my older brother, Cody, fell off a 40 ft. cliff. My grandparents came to be with us. I had never seen my grandma cry so hard as when she saw Cody after the incident. I will never forget that moment-the emotion she showed, the love that she truly felt for him, and I knew she loved us all that way, equally.

-I always feel so proud when I hear stories of my grandparents on both sides, of the history of their families. I always feel so lucky that I was born into such an amazing heritage. I was blessed with the best grandparents a girl could have. I've always known I was loved, I've always known that my grandparents cared about me and valued me as a person, as their granddaughter.

-My grandma always remembered all of her grand kids' birthdays and sent us a card with money every year. She always signed the card, "Love to the Last Counting." I loved that statement, and have begun using it myself. My grandma taught me so many valuable lessons, most by her example of faith in the gospel, in her love for her family, and by the way she chose to live her life and share it with us. I love you to the last counting, Grandma. You were the rock in our family, and you will be missed every day..


P.S. I'm ticked..I can't find my favorite picture with my Grandma Perkins to post with this entry. I'll find it soon and post it.

Random

I decided to change my blog a little bit, I was getting a little sick of the old format, if you know what I mean, and I'm sure you do! I found this picture of me from about a year ago. I was living in Denver at the time, having the adventure of a lifetime (well maybe not that grand of an adventure, but at the same time it was). There was a place in Lone Tree, CO, right by where I lived, called Chee Burger Chee Burger that had a 20 ounce burger and if you could finish it, your pic. was on the wall. Of course, I am a big lover of food, and sadly, (but really not that sad) I am a fan of food eating competitions. I have been in a few, and needless to say, I finish what I eat! So this is a picture of me, anxiously anticipating the arrival of my 20 ounce beauty, that yes, I totally finished eating and I'm proud to say I beat out 3 boys, AND was only the 3rd girl on the wall of pictures to have finished eating it there-pretty pathetic, girls, if you ask me! That was a proud moment in my life. Anyway, I think this picture pretty much summarizes me- a little spacey, a little nerdy, but one who finds pure joy and happiness at the simple things in life!

Update

I just wanted you all to know how much I'm enjoying teaching first grade. It's been a fun, tough, stressful, enjoyable and exhausting transition from teaching older grades. They are so cute and say the funniest things! I'm grateful to be teaching again, and for the joy my students bring into my life. I'm learning a lot about how to teach reading and about this age group! What a fun and trying year that lies ahead for me. I'm excited for the challenges and growth that will take place not only in my students, but for me as their teacher as well!

Also, I had my surgery yesterday. Same surgery I had 15 months ago, dang butt of mine! I had cysts on the end of my tailbone. It runs in my family-my dad and all of my older siblings have had the exact same procedure done. You just wait Tabbi and Trina, you're next! The surgery seems to be going easier for me the second time around. I'm having an easier time getting out of bed, and although I'm exhausted, I'm still able to do other things. I think it's because this time around I have a lot of other things to worry about (my students!) that keep me going. I just wanted to thank all of you that have kept me in your thoughts and prayers, as this is not an easy procedure to deal with, especially at this stressful time in my life with my career and the transition to moving back. It meant the world to me yesterday and warmed my heart to see so many of you call me, text me, email me, or leave me messages on Facebook. I feel like I have the best family and friends that a girl could ever ask for! This is just the beginning of a hard few months of recovery for me, but I know I can make it through and REFUSE to have to do this surgery again if I just can stay on top of it! But thank you again! And a huge thanks to my mom for taking care of me. It's not going to be easy for her to have to change my packing, seriously so painful for me but I know it's more painful for her because she's the one inflicting the pain! So thank you mom for putting up with me!

Reminder

Isn't it so great how life works sometimes? When we are reminded of what makes our life so wonderful, so meaningful, so worth it all. Today has been that kind of day for me. I ran into someone I haven't seen in years, who made a huge impact on my life during my late high school years and early 20s. The funny thing is, I have been thinking a lot about her lately, and pow! There she is! (Positive thoughts in the Universe, the Secret works, I tell you what!) My hour long chat with her was exactly what I needed, and so many things were brought back to my memory. What a great thing our past can be in helping shape our present lives. She reminded me of what is most important in my life, and what I need to do to improve my current situation. She did this without even realizing it! Everyday I wear something that she gave to me several years ago, it's a daily reminder for me of who I was, and who I want to be.

I was reminded today that I am so grateful for the people that have been a part of my life throughout all the stages of it. I don't think it's any small coincidence that they are or were in my life. I think a loving Father in Heaven is so mindful of each of us and connects us to people who can influence us and change our lives for the better. I've always been blessed with the best of people that I surround myself with, who remind me of who I truly am, and bring out the best sides of me.

Music

Music is probably the most important thing in my life, outside of my family, the gospel and teaching. It has always played a central part of my life, and is the way that I express myself, my testimony, and it's the way I can escape from my reality and get back to who I am, whether it be through playing the piano, singing, or listening to it. I'm always on the hunt for new songs, new artists that speak to my soul. Tonight has been one of those nights for me. With what has been going on in my life lately, I've been needing a solace, and I found just that tonight. My new favorite artist tonight is Matthew Perryman Jones. Youtube him. It will change your life! His song, Out of Reach, is not on Youtube yet, but this song is my song tonight. Here are the lyrics:

You're always bound to fall
there's nothing you can do
the weight of gravity begins
to pull you down again
so what are you to do now?
stuck between the hope and doubt
you get so close to clarity
makes you question everything

You're so far away
so far away from me
Is it starting to break
underneath my feet
You're so far away
Am I just out of reach?

We keep talking in circles
staring out with empty eyes
wanting to be known again
but so afraid of letting in
so do i leave it all to history?
will you ever answer me ?
do you still recognize my voice
or is it lost among the noise

You're so far away
so far away from me
Is it starting to break
underneath my feet
You're so far away
Am I just out of reach?

While the world unravels
we're kicking at shadows
and everyone around us
is making up chaos
oh, I cannot find you
I'm walking like I'm blinded
am I saying anything at all?

You're so far away
so far away from me
Is it starting to break
underneath my feet
Is it set in stone
could someone tell me please?
Am I all alone?
Am I just out of reach?

It takes a long time to grow old friends

I forgot to mention in my half marathon blog, that immediately after, I met up with a bunch of old high school friends, one of which also ran the half marathon as well! It was so fun catching up with you girls-Kelly, April, Amber, Kim (who ran the half), Kristin, Kearston, Cammie, Tiffany and Afton. We missed the rest of the group that weren't there. We definitely need to catch up more often! These women helped shape my life when I was younger, and they all hold a special place in my heart!

Just a few of us-me, Amber, Kristin, Tiffany. Kearston, I want you to post the other pics so I can steal them!

Camping is Wonderful!

I had a great Labor Day weekend camping with good friends. What a perfect break for me after a hard first week of teaching first graders! We went up Payson Canyon. It was fun eating, chatting around the fire, driving through the canyon and seeing Utah Lake, Payson Lake, Devil's Kitchen and other beautiful sites in nature. Thanks for a fun weekend Nik, Shay and Megg!

Me, Shay, Megg

Who knows..

Devil's Kitchen. Beautiful!

Looking out over Devil's Kitchen. Man, I'm a midget!

This picture makes me laugh. Nik looks like he's about to eat my head!

Meggan and I at Devil's Kitchen